‘Antardwand’: A Story of Groom-abduction

“Mahendra Singh: Honor is an important thing to me, even if we lose life.

Sharma ji: Good Mahendra Babu. Honor is yours and life is of daughter!”

Above two lines is a rough translation of the dialogue in Bihari accented Hindi from the 2010, National Award Winning movie Antardwand (meaning ‘Inner conflict’) by Sushil Rajpal. The film presents, first time in the history of Hindi Cinema, the issue of Groom-kidnapping in the state of Bihar.

Mahendra Singh wants his daughter to get married to Madhukar Sahi’s only son Raghuveer. The daughter studies in college. Raghuveer also studies in Delhi, and he aspires to be an IAS/IPS officer for which he is giving exams. His girlfriend from Delhi, Siya, is pregnant. Madhukar Sahi wants Raghuveer to get married to the only daughter of his rich friend. Mahendra Singh approaches Madhukar Sahi for the marriage; he offers up to 10 lakh rupees for the marriage. But Madhukar Sahi insults him and asks him to leave his house. For Mahendra Singh this becomes a matter of honor and he kidnaps Raghuveer. Against the wish of his wife, daughter, and Raghuveer, Mahendra Singh, by the use of violence, power and alcohol gets Raghuveer married to his daughter. Police and advocates are not only aware about but also supporting such a case. In order to consummate the marriage, marital rape, under the influence of liquor and anger, is made possible. The bride, Janki, sees this as her fate and accepts the rape as a natural physical relation. But, Raghuveer escapes, here, Janki is pregnant. Raghuveer’s father does not accept her. Finally, Janki revolts and leaves the house of her father. The film ends ruining the lives of Janki, Raghuveer and Siya.

We are all aware about honor-killing, but honor-marriage is something even more disturbing. All the evils like dowry, violence, marital-rape, and un-lawful marriages are part and parcel of the act of honor-marriage. Imagine, if Raghuveer takes Janki at his home and forced to live a life with a wife whom he doesn’t like, what kind of relationship will they develop? What will happen to Janki, who is married to a person who doesn’t even like to look at her? Marriage consummation is not just a matter of physical relations; it’s a meeting of two souls and minds. Such a marriage will result in constant rape and mental torture. 

Groom-kidnapping is an evil which came in existence to counter the evil of dowry. The bachelor and eligible males are abducted and then forced into the marriage. Though we have laws against dowry, they remain only on papers. Dowry is still a wide-spread practice, and brides are tortured and even killed for the same. It is not the case that there is a shortage of males. Abducting eligible males is a practice to avoid the lakhs of rupees of dowry and maintain social status by marrying the daughter with an educated and well-to-do groom, because such grooms are very ‘costly’ in a normal scenario.

The above mentioned movie is based on a true story. The director’s friend underwent such a horrific scenario, was abducted and got into a forced marriage. It is hard to believe for majority of city-dwellers in our country that such an incident is a reality. Groom-abductions and marriage, colloquially known as Pakaruah shaadi or Jabaria shaadi is a sensation in the western parts of Bihar, and eastern Uttar Pradesh states.

It is time for us to think as a society about our reality. On one hand, we are developing Anti-Romeo Squads and concern about Triple Talaq Issue of Muslim women, and on the other hand, we do not want to hear the views, likes and dislikes of our own daughters and sisters, forget about wife. If we are happy getting our daughter/sister married to a complete stranger by force, what kind of family life we expect for her? Such a practice literally means that daughters are considered burden and we need to get them married as soon as possible. The marriage, either in terms of dowry or groom-abduction, is more of economic exchange than building up a relation between two living entities.

Both the main female characters are named after Sita – Siya and Janaki. The male lead is called Raghuveer, which is yet another name for Lord Rama. Now, if we look at the relations between this Ram and Sita of the movie, it is very conflicting. Raghuveer loves Siya and gets her pregnant, but he cannot fight with his father for her. He submits to his father’s will. Raghuveer and Janaki are married forcefully; initially Raghuveer tried to avoid any physical or vocal contact with Janaki. But, then his ego is hurt by the other members calling him impotent as he did not consummate marriage with Janaki. So finally, he rapes her and ultimately leaves her. However tormenting, Janaki accepts him as her husband and ready to bear his child conceived through rape.

The title of the film, Antardwand, is very significant. It questions us, through the medium of the film, whose conflict is this? Is it the inner-conflict of Raghuveer, or Janaki or the Society that we have developed? What do we want to achieve by generating families which are based on violence, treachery, and hate for each other. How do we expect those brides and grooms to love one another when their meeting, mating and relations are forced? There is no essence of understanding and love. According to a report in The Australian (January 13, 2010), in 2009, 1224 kidnappings for marriage were reported in Bihar. If only 50% of them turn into a marriage, there will be 612 families suffering husband and wife’s hate for one another.  612 families, for us, mean a big village.

We, as a society, need to look at the issues of dowry and groom-abduction and solve them in reality and not on papers. Laws are useless until they are implemented correctly without fear and favor. A healthy society is one in which everyone gets equal opportunities and rights irrespective of one’s gender, caste, class or even education. We are thankful to the director of the film, Sushil Rajpal, who made us aware about such an important problem of our society. After all, diagnosis of a disease is the first step of its solution. Such a disease is a challenge not only to the institution of Marriage but also to the institution of Family and it is very important to cut off such a practice from our society on the humanitarian grounds.