“Mahendra Singh: Honor is an important thing to me, even if we lose life.
Sharma ji: Good Mahendra Babu.
Honor is yours and life is of daughter!”
Above two lines is a rough translation
of the dialogue in Bihari accented Hindi from the 2010, National Award Winning
movie Antardwand (meaning ‘Inner conflict’) by Sushil Rajpal. The film
presents, first time in the history of Hindi Cinema, the issue of Groom-kidnapping
in the state of Bihar.
Mahendra Singh wants his daughter to get
married to Madhukar Sahi’s only son Raghuveer. The daughter studies in college.
Raghuveer also studies in Delhi, and he aspires to be an IAS/IPS officer for
which he is giving exams. His girlfriend from Delhi, Siya, is pregnant.
Madhukar Sahi wants Raghuveer to get married to the only daughter of his rich
friend. Mahendra Singh approaches Madhukar Sahi for the marriage; he offers up
to 10 lakh rupees for the marriage. But Madhukar Sahi insults him and asks him
to leave his house. For Mahendra Singh this becomes a matter of honor and he
kidnaps Raghuveer. Against the wish of his wife, daughter, and Raghuveer,
Mahendra Singh, by the use of violence, power and alcohol gets Raghuveer
married to his daughter. Police and advocates are not only aware about but also
supporting such a case. In order to consummate the marriage, marital rape,
under the influence of liquor and anger, is made possible. The bride, Janki,
sees this as her fate and accepts the rape as a natural physical relation. But,
Raghuveer escapes, here, Janki is pregnant. Raghuveer’s father does not accept
her. Finally, Janki revolts and leaves the house of her father. The film ends
ruining the lives of Janki, Raghuveer and Siya.
We are all aware about honor-killing,
but honor-marriage is something even more disturbing. All the evils like dowry,
violence, marital-rape, and un-lawful marriages are part and parcel of the act
of honor-marriage. Imagine, if Raghuveer takes Janki at his home and forced to
live a life with a wife whom he doesn’t like, what kind of relationship will
they develop? What will happen to Janki, who is married to a person who doesn’t
even like to look at her? Marriage consummation is not just a matter of
physical relations; it’s a meeting of two souls and minds. Such a marriage will
result in constant rape and mental torture.
Groom-kidnapping is an evil which came
in existence to counter the evil of dowry. The bachelor and eligible males are
abducted and then forced into the marriage. Though we have laws against dowry,
they remain only on papers. Dowry is still a wide-spread practice, and brides
are tortured and even killed for the same. It is not the case that there is a
shortage of males. Abducting eligible males is a practice to avoid the lakhs of
rupees of dowry and maintain social status by marrying the daughter with an
educated and well-to-do groom, because such grooms are very ‘costly’ in a
normal scenario.
The above mentioned movie is based on a
true story. The director’s friend underwent such a horrific scenario, was
abducted and got into a forced marriage. It is hard to believe for majority of
city-dwellers in our country that such an incident is a reality.
Groom-abductions and marriage, colloquially known as Pakaruah shaadi or Jabaria
shaadi is a sensation in the western parts of Bihar, and
eastern Uttar Pradesh states.
It is time for us to think as a society
about our reality. On one hand, we are developing Anti-Romeo Squads and concern
about Triple Talaq Issue of Muslim women, and on the other hand, we do not want
to hear the views, likes and dislikes of our own daughters and sisters, forget
about wife. If we are happy getting our daughter/sister married to a complete
stranger by force, what kind of family life we expect for her? Such a practice
literally means that daughters are considered burden and we need to get them
married as soon as possible. The marriage, either in terms of dowry or
groom-abduction, is more of economic exchange than building up a relation
between two living entities.
Both the main female characters are
named after Sita – Siya and Janaki. The male lead is called Raghuveer, which is
yet another name for Lord Rama. Now, if we look at the relations between this
Ram and Sita of the movie, it is very conflicting. Raghuveer loves Siya and
gets her pregnant, but he cannot fight with his father for her. He submits to
his father’s will. Raghuveer and Janaki are married forcefully; initially
Raghuveer tried to avoid any physical or vocal contact with Janaki. But, then
his ego is hurt by the other members calling him impotent as he did not
consummate marriage with Janaki. So finally, he rapes her and ultimately leaves
her. However tormenting, Janaki accepts him as her husband and ready to bear
his child conceived through rape.
The title of the film, Antardwand,
is very significant. It questions us, through the medium of the film, whose
conflict is this? Is it the inner-conflict of Raghuveer, or Janaki or the
Society that we have developed? What do we want to achieve by generating
families which are based on violence, treachery, and hate for each other. How
do we expect those brides and grooms to love one another when their meeting,
mating and relations are forced? There is no essence of understanding and love.
According to a report in The Australian (January 13, 2010), in 2009, 1224
kidnappings for marriage were reported in Bihar. If only 50% of them turn into
a marriage, there will be 612 families suffering husband and wife’s hate for one
another. 612 families, for us, mean a
big village.
We, as a society, need to look at the
issues of dowry and groom-abduction and solve them in reality and not on
papers. Laws are useless until they are implemented correctly without fear and
favor. A healthy society is one in which everyone gets equal opportunities and
rights irrespective of one’s gender, caste, class or even education. We are
thankful to the director of the film, Sushil Rajpal, who made us aware about
such an important problem of our society. After all, diagnosis of a disease is
the first step of its solution. Such a disease is a challenge not only to the
institution of Marriage but also to the institution of Family and it is very
important to cut off such a practice from our society on the humanitarian
grounds.
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